The Adolescent Days.

Songkok Tinggi.

One of the happiest moments in my life was when I came to know that I’ll be attending Sekolah Datuk Abdul Razak a fully boarding school in Seremban Negeri Sembilan to pursue my secondary education. The fact that my brother was already attending the same has not taken the limelight from me. Only pupils who obtained excellent result in the Standard 5 Assessment Exam would be selected. My school has only me to offer. The feat probably was the example quoted by every parent in my village for their offspring to emulate.

The preparation for me to attend the school was not so grandly done as my parents learnt from my elder brother’s episode that not all items requested by the school to be bought. Most of the thing I remember, my father bought me a songkok that look rather taller than the others, for easier identification he told me. Finally I was on the train, my father accompanied me on my first journey to the school. That was the first and the only time my father comes to my school. The trains took off from Arau station and after two changes later in Butterwoth and Kuala Lumpur respectively, we finally reached Seremban town, the state capital of Negeri Sembilan that grew very much accustomed to me in my 6 years stay until I completed my MCE.

How an innocent young boy cope up with the life in the new surroundings. My father left home immediately after the registration. I felt pity for him. He was a father that never showed us any affection. He loves us all right but there is no show, it is all in the heart that matters, I guess. I realized my father was not so lucky as the other parents who came in drove sending their offspring, some of them in flashy cars and fancy dresses. I don’t know how he felt about it but deep in my heart I owe him my life irrespective of what he is.

After my father left, all of a sudden, I felt so lonely and homesick. My brother was the only person I could see but meeting him was quite restricted as we were staying at different hostel. I remember we used to sit together on the long concrete bench in the evening overlooking the school field. He would tenderly listen to me relaying how much I missed home. I would count the number of days and number of weeks to the first term holidays. Sadness himself, he would listen in
sympathy and assured me that everything would be all right . He was always telling me he would always be around for me. He is the brother closest ever, Hilmi bin Mohamad, exactly two and a half years my senior.

The gloom days are not forever. Friends and school activities tend to make life runs faster, makes you think less about home. As a matter of times, there seem to be life again, to the fullest indeed. Next....Adolescent days are Easy days, too easy until you know what. Find out!

The Early Days

I was born on the 7th day of April 1960 in a small village in Perlis, the Malaysia’s tiniest and most northern state. The village is known as Kampong Batu 2 Lama for being situated at the 2 milestone along the Kangar - Kaki Bukit trunk road. I was three children later after my parents’ wedlock and another three more siblings after me came along. My father was an Indonesian immigrant. He came to Malaysia when probably the country was still known as Malaya, at the age of 13 all by himself. Married to my mother 11 years later, together made their way through thick and thin toiling about 8 acres of paddy plantation as the main source of income to support the entire family.

My first knowledge about my existence was about a carefree vilage boy, strolling around the village. Life initially seem to be revolved only around the village beside a river known as Sungai Korok. As soon as seven years old, I was made to attend the primary school at Sekolah Kebangsaan Kampong Salang. The days clinging to the tender mom’s protection were over once my parent sent me to stay with my grand mom. Much later in life I realized my parents was forced to part with us due to poor economical anfd financial reasons. Yet, despite being seven, the separation from my parents was not so much felt as I was much more engrossed with the responsibility of being a school-boy.

The things were not so fortunate for my grand mom even before my stay as one of my uncle who had later in life become an important figure to me had a road accident and was bedridden for multiple fractured leg. My grand dad passed away when I was in standard two making life more miserable for the old lady supporting all of us, my uncle, auntie and my 3 other elder siblings who were later also sent by my parents to join me.

I could not remember how I could have survived the early primary school years as all of my grand mum's attention was toward healing my uncle’s injury. It was only later primary school years, life has turned out to be brighter in tandem with my uncle’s recovery, from double crutches to single to none, but he has to accept that he will never able to walk normal again.

As most of my time was spent with him, there was a special bond of a nephew and uncle relationship that probably made me regards him dearer from my father. He was a teacher when the accident happened and forced to quit of his long illness. One man’s loss is another man’s gain. I was naturally made his student and emerged most of the times as a top student in the village school. There was no rigid and formal studies though but he ecourages reading. He was reading all sort of books and magazines because of his limited movement. By the age of ten I was already able to read "Desa Pingitan", a very interesting Bahasa Malaysia novel about the first person accounts of his life in Lembaga Kemajuan Tanah Persekutuan in Pahang. I read the book cover to cover and made to understand at that young age, the novel was a second prize winner to the national competiton organized by the Dewan Bahasa Dan Pustaka, the overseer of Bahasa Malaysia. There was no first prize winner for that particular year.

Next…….adolescent days

P/s. I'm actually looking to read the book again and if I ever can find it somewhere.

RAMADHAN DAN PERUBAHAN

(Ringkasan dari petikan didalam bahasa inggeris yang saya terima. Maaf sekiranya tidak sampai kepada maksud dan penghayatan sebenar penulis asal).

Kita semua sentiasa dikelilingi oleh rangkaian dosa, terperangkap dengan tabiat tabiat negatif dimana semua ini adalah membahayakan dan merosakan diri kita tanpa disedari. Dosa dan tabiat tabiat negatif ini telah menjadi sebati dan sukar untuk di buang terutama apabila keazaman didalam diri kita telah lemah.

Faktor utama untuk meninggalkan tabiat buruk ini ialah dengan mempunyai keazaman yang tinggi. Ramadhan datang lagi menawarkan latihan latihan untuk kita memperkemaskan semula keazaman ini. Keazaman untuk memelihara had-had yang ditentukan oleh Allah S.W.T, untuk pengabdian diri kepada Allah S.W.T dan untuk melaksanakan hukuman dan undang undang Allah S.W.T didalam sebarang tindak tanduk kita.

Berpuasa adalah satu jalan yang terbaik untuk memperkemaskan azam kita, memperhubungi diri, penyerahan diri, kepatuhan dan juga satu jalan untuk mengutamakan tuntutan Allah SWT dari tuntutan peribadi kita. Jadi, berpuasa adalah merupakan satu peluang keemasan untuk menghindarkan tabiat tabiat negatif kita. Disini adalah satu huraian kepada faktor faktor yang menolong kita menuju kearah itu:-

Mempuyai keazaman yang tinggi.

• Seperti diterangkan diatas semakin kuat keazaman kita semakin lemahlah dan juahlah kita dari tabiat tabiat negatif itu.

Masa untuk perubahan yang cukup.

• Kita berpuasa menuruti apa yang disyari’atkan dengan sebaiknya. Kita akan sentiasa membuang sifat sifat negatif semasa berpuasa. Sekiranya kita ikhlas untuk perubahan, 30 hari yang disyariatkan adalah satu masa yang cukup panjang untuk satu perubahan yang menerus.

Perubahan yang menyeluruh.

• Berpuasa menukar masa tidur, bangun, makan, cara kita menggunakan masa, susunan rancangan mengikut kepentingan dan keperluan sehinggalah kepada perubahan emosi kita, jadi keupayaan dan peluang untuk menemui perubahan diri adalah tinggi.

Perubahan yang khusus.

• Berpuasa dibulan Ramadhan membuat semua umat Islam pada khususnya berubah. Oleh itu setiap muslim mendapat suasana perubahan ini secara dalaman atau pun luaran yang mana ianya merupakan satu faktor utama untuk menjurus kepada sesuatu perubahan yang kekal.

Sekiranya kita tidak berjaya berubah selepas wujudnya berbagai bantuan seperti yang dihuraikan dan didalam masa yang panjang itu, kita mungkin tidak dapat menemui perubahan didalam hidup kita. Ataupun sememang bukanlah perubahan yang kita carikan. Sekiranya kita tidak berusaha untuk menemui perubahan itu, kita bolehlah dianggap sebagai telah mengianiaya diri kita sendiri daripada rahmat dan berkat yang diturunkan dari Allah SWT tuhan sekelian alam.

Allah SWT yang telah mewajibkan Puasa keatas hamba hambanya supaya mereka berubah dari tabiat tabiat negatif kepada sifat sifat yang positive. Sebalik kita cuma berjaya menukarkan masa makan sahaja. Janganlah kita termasuk didalam golongan ini, tetapi jadilah kita orang orang yang bijak dan kumpulan yang berilmu yang sentiasa berminat untuk mencari kebenaran dan tujuan syariat Allah SWT.

Tujuan utama berpuasa ialah untuk membersihkan jiwa kita dari kehendak kehendak dan tradisi tradisi yang tidak dibenarkan. Untuk mencapainya bergantung kepada kita untuk membuangkan sifat dan sikap yang negatif itu. Pergantungan kita yang berterusan terhadap kepada sikap sikap tersebut jugalah termasuk didalam satu bentuk perhambaan.

Sekian, semoga ramadhan yang baru berlalu adalah yang terbaik buat anda. Aamiiin.

What I did during Raya 2.

Here the sequel......

Reached my mother in law's house just about time to assist her to prepare for the berbuka puasa. I was not able to buka puasa with her and my family as I had to rush to my my brother house. This younger brother of mine is married to a KLite and had earlier left for the city after my undertaking to look after my aging parents and a 28 year-old Down syndrome brother during his absence. They have been staying with him after my mother has become partially dependent, not even able to lift a `cerek' despite still being able to move around. On the other hands, as my mother in law is also living alone, then it was only fair for my wife to stay with her mother.

My duty looking after my parents lasted from that Sunday evening (22/10) until the Tuesday Raya morning (24/10) morning after Hilmi '"Apek" and his entourage actually reached home from Melaka. Mind you, Hilmi was my parents favorite's and I was more like a black sheep of the family for being probably the most vocal amongst the siblings. In a way this is quite fortunate as my father choose to follow Hilmi's to the nearby Masjid for Solah Sunat Raya and giving me the chance to take my own sweet time going to hear the Khutbah delivered by Datuk Harun Din. Almost every Raya I would take the opportunity to hear the khutbah from him not so much of his party inclination but for the quality of the khutbah. This year it about the summary of events or groups that deviates from the true Islamic teaching. The khutbah lasted about an hour and it was already eleven morning when I was reunited with my family again to join the Adil Fitri celebration seada adanya.

By the second Raya I was already observing the non-obligatory 6-day Syawal fasting but that has not deter me from visiting all my other siblings and relatives. We were back to SP by the third day Raya, celebration cut short to allow my SPM bound daughter more spaces for the exam. That's for now……..Salam.

P/s...There is actually a lot more to tell esp. when at home together with my parents, they are old and I have to be patient, old parents are sensitve lots...may be another time!

What I did during Raya 1

I really got nothing to do today, so am pleased to share with you guys on what I did during Raya that was just about a week old.

I was planning to go back Kampung on Saturday (21/10) afternoon, but changed my mind after feeling tired and sleepy, obviously to the effect of clearing the overgrown weeds in the garden and rounds and rounds of laundry before we actually left our home sweet home. My wife is of course exempted from the chores after her gallstone episode that leaving me to take full controls of her ministry.

We left for Kangar on bright Sunday (22/10) morning, cramping everyone together with what we think we need during holidays in my 13–year old faithful. Usually my son would be driving her mother's car together to lessen the loads, but not this year as he has just got to help his girlfriend's father doing something more important than us, at least to what he thought it was. He was only planning to join us on the Raya eve, let him be, I would be in same shoe at his age.

During the journey, we actually stopped at the Bukit Kayu Hitam Duty Free Shop. My wife has been pestering me to get something to wear on the Hari Raya, You see, except for the 10 sarongs and two Baju Melayu, I have not bought anything else for myself. Most of the sarongs anyway, would be given away to my favorite uncles and relatives. Sarongs can be cheap if you buy them in bulk, every year I'd buy the Indonesian Gadjah Duduk Benang 7000 (probably the best available in the market) for about RM20-00 each, that about RM 18 cheaper if you choose to buy a piece or two. Everyone else was well equipped from head to toe, courtesy of my other half. She would take extra effort to see her offspring look radiant on the joyous day and she definately would not want me to be different.

I was actually pleasantly forced to buy 2 pairs of Polo T-shirts and another 2 pairs John Langford's Ease that made me about RM300-00 poorer before tax. We were only on our real Hari Raya Balik Kampong journey after managing to sweet talk the officers for the 30% tax waiver on the way out of the Customs checkpoint.

Check out the sequal...shortly.