The Adolescent Days.

Songkok Tinggi.

One of the happiest moments in my life was when I came to know that I’ll be attending Sekolah Datuk Abdul Razak a fully boarding school in Seremban Negeri Sembilan to pursue my secondary education. The fact that my brother was already attending the same has not taken the limelight from me. Only pupils who obtained excellent result in the Standard 5 Assessment Exam would be selected. My school has only me to offer. The feat probably was the example quoted by every parent in my village for their offspring to emulate.

The preparation for me to attend the school was not so grandly done as my parents learnt from my elder brother’s episode that not all items requested by the school to be bought. Most of the thing I remember, my father bought me a songkok that look rather taller than the others, for easier identification he told me. Finally I was on the train, my father accompanied me on my first journey to the school. That was the first and the only time my father comes to my school. The trains took off from Arau station and after two changes later in Butterwoth and Kuala Lumpur respectively, we finally reached Seremban town, the state capital of Negeri Sembilan that grew very much accustomed to me in my 6 years stay until I completed my MCE.

How an innocent young boy cope up with the life in the new surroundings. My father left home immediately after the registration. I felt pity for him. He was a father that never showed us any affection. He loves us all right but there is no show, it is all in the heart that matters, I guess. I realized my father was not so lucky as the other parents who came in drove sending their offspring, some of them in flashy cars and fancy dresses. I don’t know how he felt about it but deep in my heart I owe him my life irrespective of what he is.

After my father left, all of a sudden, I felt so lonely and homesick. My brother was the only person I could see but meeting him was quite restricted as we were staying at different hostel. I remember we used to sit together on the long concrete bench in the evening overlooking the school field. He would tenderly listen to me relaying how much I missed home. I would count the number of days and number of weeks to the first term holidays. Sadness himself, he would listen in
sympathy and assured me that everything would be all right . He was always telling me he would always be around for me. He is the brother closest ever, Hilmi bin Mohamad, exactly two and a half years my senior.

The gloom days are not forever. Friends and school activities tend to make life runs faster, makes you think less about home. As a matter of times, there seem to be life again, to the fullest indeed. Next....Adolescent days are Easy days, too easy until you know what. Find out!

The Early Days

I was born on the 7th day of April 1960 in a small village in Perlis, the Malaysia’s tiniest and most northern state. The village is known as Kampong Batu 2 Lama for being situated at the 2 milestone along the Kangar - Kaki Bukit trunk road. I was three children later after my parents’ wedlock and another three more siblings after me came along. My father was an Indonesian immigrant. He came to Malaysia when probably the country was still known as Malaya, at the age of 13 all by himself. Married to my mother 11 years later, together made their way through thick and thin toiling about 8 acres of paddy plantation as the main source of income to support the entire family.

My first knowledge about my existence was about a carefree vilage boy, strolling around the village. Life initially seem to be revolved only around the village beside a river known as Sungai Korok. As soon as seven years old, I was made to attend the primary school at Sekolah Kebangsaan Kampong Salang. The days clinging to the tender mom’s protection were over once my parent sent me to stay with my grand mom. Much later in life I realized my parents was forced to part with us due to poor economical anfd financial reasons. Yet, despite being seven, the separation from my parents was not so much felt as I was much more engrossed with the responsibility of being a school-boy.

The things were not so fortunate for my grand mom even before my stay as one of my uncle who had later in life become an important figure to me had a road accident and was bedridden for multiple fractured leg. My grand dad passed away when I was in standard two making life more miserable for the old lady supporting all of us, my uncle, auntie and my 3 other elder siblings who were later also sent by my parents to join me.

I could not remember how I could have survived the early primary school years as all of my grand mum's attention was toward healing my uncle’s injury. It was only later primary school years, life has turned out to be brighter in tandem with my uncle’s recovery, from double crutches to single to none, but he has to accept that he will never able to walk normal again.

As most of my time was spent with him, there was a special bond of a nephew and uncle relationship that probably made me regards him dearer from my father. He was a teacher when the accident happened and forced to quit of his long illness. One man’s loss is another man’s gain. I was naturally made his student and emerged most of the times as a top student in the village school. There was no rigid and formal studies though but he ecourages reading. He was reading all sort of books and magazines because of his limited movement. By the age of ten I was already able to read "Desa Pingitan", a very interesting Bahasa Malaysia novel about the first person accounts of his life in Lembaga Kemajuan Tanah Persekutuan in Pahang. I read the book cover to cover and made to understand at that young age, the novel was a second prize winner to the national competiton organized by the Dewan Bahasa Dan Pustaka, the overseer of Bahasa Malaysia. There was no first prize winner for that particular year.

Next…….adolescent days

P/s. I'm actually looking to read the book again and if I ever can find it somewhere.

RAMADHAN DAN PERUBAHAN

(Ringkasan dari petikan didalam bahasa inggeris yang saya terima. Maaf sekiranya tidak sampai kepada maksud dan penghayatan sebenar penulis asal).

Kita semua sentiasa dikelilingi oleh rangkaian dosa, terperangkap dengan tabiat tabiat negatif dimana semua ini adalah membahayakan dan merosakan diri kita tanpa disedari. Dosa dan tabiat tabiat negatif ini telah menjadi sebati dan sukar untuk di buang terutama apabila keazaman didalam diri kita telah lemah.

Faktor utama untuk meninggalkan tabiat buruk ini ialah dengan mempunyai keazaman yang tinggi. Ramadhan datang lagi menawarkan latihan latihan untuk kita memperkemaskan semula keazaman ini. Keazaman untuk memelihara had-had yang ditentukan oleh Allah S.W.T, untuk pengabdian diri kepada Allah S.W.T dan untuk melaksanakan hukuman dan undang undang Allah S.W.T didalam sebarang tindak tanduk kita.

Berpuasa adalah satu jalan yang terbaik untuk memperkemaskan azam kita, memperhubungi diri, penyerahan diri, kepatuhan dan juga satu jalan untuk mengutamakan tuntutan Allah SWT dari tuntutan peribadi kita. Jadi, berpuasa adalah merupakan satu peluang keemasan untuk menghindarkan tabiat tabiat negatif kita. Disini adalah satu huraian kepada faktor faktor yang menolong kita menuju kearah itu:-

Mempuyai keazaman yang tinggi.

• Seperti diterangkan diatas semakin kuat keazaman kita semakin lemahlah dan juahlah kita dari tabiat tabiat negatif itu.

Masa untuk perubahan yang cukup.

• Kita berpuasa menuruti apa yang disyari’atkan dengan sebaiknya. Kita akan sentiasa membuang sifat sifat negatif semasa berpuasa. Sekiranya kita ikhlas untuk perubahan, 30 hari yang disyariatkan adalah satu masa yang cukup panjang untuk satu perubahan yang menerus.

Perubahan yang menyeluruh.

• Berpuasa menukar masa tidur, bangun, makan, cara kita menggunakan masa, susunan rancangan mengikut kepentingan dan keperluan sehinggalah kepada perubahan emosi kita, jadi keupayaan dan peluang untuk menemui perubahan diri adalah tinggi.

Perubahan yang khusus.

• Berpuasa dibulan Ramadhan membuat semua umat Islam pada khususnya berubah. Oleh itu setiap muslim mendapat suasana perubahan ini secara dalaman atau pun luaran yang mana ianya merupakan satu faktor utama untuk menjurus kepada sesuatu perubahan yang kekal.

Sekiranya kita tidak berjaya berubah selepas wujudnya berbagai bantuan seperti yang dihuraikan dan didalam masa yang panjang itu, kita mungkin tidak dapat menemui perubahan didalam hidup kita. Ataupun sememang bukanlah perubahan yang kita carikan. Sekiranya kita tidak berusaha untuk menemui perubahan itu, kita bolehlah dianggap sebagai telah mengianiaya diri kita sendiri daripada rahmat dan berkat yang diturunkan dari Allah SWT tuhan sekelian alam.

Allah SWT yang telah mewajibkan Puasa keatas hamba hambanya supaya mereka berubah dari tabiat tabiat negatif kepada sifat sifat yang positive. Sebalik kita cuma berjaya menukarkan masa makan sahaja. Janganlah kita termasuk didalam golongan ini, tetapi jadilah kita orang orang yang bijak dan kumpulan yang berilmu yang sentiasa berminat untuk mencari kebenaran dan tujuan syariat Allah SWT.

Tujuan utama berpuasa ialah untuk membersihkan jiwa kita dari kehendak kehendak dan tradisi tradisi yang tidak dibenarkan. Untuk mencapainya bergantung kepada kita untuk membuangkan sifat dan sikap yang negatif itu. Pergantungan kita yang berterusan terhadap kepada sikap sikap tersebut jugalah termasuk didalam satu bentuk perhambaan.

Sekian, semoga ramadhan yang baru berlalu adalah yang terbaik buat anda. Aamiiin.